I shall now look at the three cards I have drawn for this exercise as a whole to see if there is anything else they can tell me.

Card 1: Knight of Cups

Card 2: Two of Swords

Card 3: Page of Cups

First thing of note is that I drew two royal cups. I think these cards are aspects of myself that the deck is trying to draw out of me. I don’t express my loving emotions very often. Secondly I feel I am the figure in the middle. I feel the Knight is travelling towards me and the Page is watching over me until the Knight reaches me. Also I feel that a location that is a beach, or near a beach will become significant. This mentoring relationship will bring me clarity as long as I trust the Divine and the messages that I am receiving.

Date: 01 Feb 2012

Question: What do you [Radiant Rider Waite] get out of this relationship?

Deck: Radiant Rider Waite

Card: Page of Cups

You get out of this relationship pure love with no hidden agendas. Being a page shows that you’re not always called upon to answer serious questions! Feels like this page is enjoying a day at the beach. Life seems simple so I feel that mentoring me is a simple relationship born out of love and respect. You feel that you don’t have talk down to me and enjoy my company. The gold of the boots and the sand shows me that you’re not afraid to share your wisdom with me. It is this wisdom that grounds you as a tarot deck that you express with love to me. By mentoring me you get a stronger connection with the Divine. Our relationship is a combination of emotion, love, ideas, purity and passion looking at the Page’s clothes. The prominence of pink and blue shows that love and emotions play the biggest parts in our relationship. One colour that is mostly missing from this card is green. I associate green with growth, fertility, grounding and natural abundance. The fish in the cup is green and I associate the fish as a message or gift from the Divine, so that suggests to me that the Divine brings these qualities to our relationship when it communicates with us.

Seeing the card makes me smile when it appears, and the Page also appears to be smiling. The question was ‘What do you get out of this relationship?’ so I hope this means you enjoy working with me, although I am probably thinking about this too much!

Even with this card you are leaving me with some advice. The loosening up of the belt tells me that you wish I would loosen up a little. You want me to focus on the love and advice that I am being given rather than the swirling emotions that sometimes surround me.

Date: 31 Jan 2012

Question: What qualities/attributes do I bring to this relationship?

Deck: Radiant Rider Waite

Card: Two of Swords

Note: 3 of Cups fell out while shuffling indicating there is something else that I maybe should take a look at.

At first glace this struck me as a kind of disappointing card to draw as I don’t have many positive associations with this card as I do not like confusion. I’m one of those people who like to have a roadmap. The blindfold shows that I have no idea what is in store for me as my career has stalled and I’m still developing my changing relationship with the Divine. Not knowing where I am going means I have to trust the answers and messages that this deck provides me with. The two swords in a ‘probing’ position shows that I am ready to explore and learn new information. The moon indicates that I am willing to follow my dreams at this point. Stone seat that I already have a firm base of knowledge to draw upon when working with this deck. White tunic indicates that my intentions for undertaking this spiritual journey are pure, but the looseness of it implies that everything doesn’t fit yet. What I want/intend is still being shaped. The figure’s feet are touching the floor suggesting that I am grounded in my spirituality and I am beginning to act as a channel for the Divine. The green land and body of water suggests a support network and an environment where I can thrive as I progress along this current path as long as I keep trusting this deck.

On the downside, the blindfold could mean that I wilfully choose to ignore things that are right in front of me, especially things that do not fit in with my perceptions of the world. I get confused easily and worry about making mistakes and doing the right thing. I often need guidance, support and reassurance that I am doing the right thing or haven’t overstepped any boundaries causing offence. Crossed arms over my heart show that I often keep what I feel in my heart hidden from the rest of the world. This care reminds me of the High Priestess and my own reluctance to engage with the outside world. I prefer the confines of my own mind where I feel I can be at ease and be myself. Night sky also shows that I am prone to confusion, but also shows that is when my connection to the Divine is strongest.

One other thing I notice is the V or W shape made by the swords but I am not sure of the significance of it yet.

The first exercise in the book asks you to finish the statement ‘My tarot deck is…’  I chose the Radiant Rider deck as that was the first one that came to mind when thinking about this question. My answer was ‘My tarot deck is a mentor.’ The next part of the exercise was to ask a follow up question. My question was ‘What are you [the Radiant Rider Waite]mentoring me in?’

The card I drew was the Knight of Cups:

Being a knight this deck is mentoring me in how to navigate extremes of my emotions and integrates the different aspects of my personality. The lack of water shows that I find it difficult to express my loving emotions and this deck is guiding me to a place where this is easier. The purple blanket under the saddle is my spirituality and the blue bridle are my emotions. This deck aims to teach me that my spirituality should be the bedrock from which my emotions spring from. The deck is also mentoring me in trusting the Divine to take me where I need to go as seen by the Knight riding a horse. The grey/white colouring of the horse also has significance. White symbolises purity and feminine energy when paired with the black colour of the hooves. Grey can signify a change in perception. This deck is guiding to change my perceptions about myself and the world, channelling feminine energy as I am quite masculine for a female, and purity of my intentions. Making sure that they come from the heart. The horse’s black hooves indicative of grounding energy to make the journey easier. Speaking of the ground… the ground appears to be made of golden sand and I associate gold with wisdom. This deck will lead me to the wisdom that I need to learn to be successful. The cloak over his armour is also an interesting feature. Fish remind me of the parables and simple living. This deck wishes me to become an agent of the Divine; and not to be afraid to speak what is in my heart. The angel wings speak of a desire to move me to a higher plane, mentally, but perhaps also physically. I currently reside in the Fens, which is flat landscape. Indicates a desire to move and the deck is working with me to achieve this. The most important feature of this card is the golden Chalice which the Knight is holding. This deck is mentoring me to share my metaphysical gifts and wisdom with others. Encouraging me to take steps to reach this goal, rather than a huge leap of faith.

Elementally I associates Knights with Air and Cups with Water. Air and Water are said to be neutral when they are together. I do not subscribe to this and believe what is termed neutral is actually cleansing if controlled but can quickly become destructive if not, for example, a tsunami. I feel this cleansing energy will be directed in trying to get me to stop thing negative thoughts and expressing the love straight from my heart. A small detail I just noticed is the knight clutching his or her belly. This makes me think of the Empress and pregnancy. I have no desire to go through that particular physical process so I believe it refers to bringing out my nurturing side, or being responsible for another person. I also note the mountains and cliffs present in this card but I sense they do not have relevance to my question as the Knight is riding past them at this time.

The exercise encourages to ask further questions and draw additional cards. As I have gone into a lot of detail with this card I am going to break up this exercise into parts. The questions I want to ask are ‘What qualities/attributes do I bring into this relationship?’ and ‘What do you (i.e. the deck) get out of this relationship?’

Reading

Question: Tell me more about what I do and do not know in relation to what you are going to teach me.

Deck: Oracle of Visions

Significator: 25 – Answer to original question. What will you teach me?

1. What do I know that I know? – 44

1. What do I know that I know? – 44. Personal nickname(s): Lady in the Lake, Stripper Swan.

Description: This card shows a lady in a secluded lake moving with a group of swans. She is wearing only a feather headdress and feather boa.

Interpretation: Lady is at one with the swans. I want to learn serenity, especially the kind displayed by my female peers at TFL. I want to feel part of a group where I can rely on others for support and understanding. Also the gates highlight the need for a secure, secluded environment. Although I want to be part of a group, retaining my individual identity is also important to me. I don’t want to be part of a herd mentality or be conformist. Or worse become lost in a crowd.

2. What do I know that I don’t know? – 06

2. What do I know that I don’t know? – 06. Personal nicknames: Circle of Temperance.

Description: A woman is sleeping in a silver semi sphere draped in a purple cloth. Underneath are some cherry blossom trees, a rainbow, and rocks in a calm body of water. Her body is positioned in a way that suggests the number 4.

Interpretation: I don’t how to use my spirituality to give my life stability and the ability to blend the different strands of my life although the still water suggests that the key might be using my spirituality to calm my emotions. Also I do not know how to display my spirituality without people close to me mocking me. This has gotten worse since I have started researching crystals.

3. What don’t I know that I know? – 18

3. What don’t I know that I know? – 18. Personal nickname(s): The Fool and Child.

Description: A woman in a golden feathered mask holds a baby in her arms. The child is snuggled against the lady’s bare chest. The baby is wearing a blue and red jester’s hat. There are gold stars on the woman’s skin.

Interpretation: I wouldn’t mind children in my life as long as its only in an ‘aunt’ capacity. Motherhood and childbirth give me the shivers. I’m not wired that way which is very lucky considering my disability would make motherhood impractical.

4. What don’t I know that I don’t know? – 42

4. What don’t I know that I don’t know? – 42. Personal nickname(s): Ballet practice.

Description: A ballet dancer lays on the floor contemplating giving up. She is holding a hoop. Beside her are also a ball and baton; more tools of her trade. Above her is another ballerina/performer on a tightrope appearing to be balancing perfectly with the ball, baton and hoop in hand.

Interpretation: I am at a low point but I don’t how I can raise myself to a higher level. I don’t see a way out of my current predicament, although the stepping of the pillars suggests that it is possible. Whatever I do doesn’t seem to be good enough. I know I have to get up again but the problem lies it what to do next. Part of me wants to crawl away and hide.

Overall

Overall: There is an interesting colour correlation with these cards. On the ‘I know’ side (cards 44 and 6) the colour palette is mostly pinks, purples and blues. Purple happens to be my favourite colour. In contrast on the ‘I don’t know’ side (cards 18 and 42) the colours primarily are yellows, oranges and reds. I associate purple with amethyst which I strongly connect with. I’ve been researching the properties of citrine which I associate with orange. I think it would be a good idea for me to put citrine on my Christmas list. I should also consider purchasing ametrine which is a combination of amethyst and citrine.

Date: 25th June 2011

Querent: Stacey

Question: Fool Spread

Deck: Druid Craft

Cards:

1. XII Hanging Man

2. Queen of Cups

3. 5 of Pentacles

4. The World

5. XV Cernunnos [Devil]

6. XII Death

7. 4 of Wands

I’d forgotten how blunt with the truth the Druid Craft can be!

1. How have I been a Fool in my life? – XII The Hanged Man.

I have been a fool by refusing to let go of my past; past hurts and even my childhood. Because of this I have not been able to reap the rewards of my hard work. The tree represents my unfulfilled ambitions or what I would like to me. The figure in this card reminds me of The Fool himself. In this card he is clearly exposed. Perhaps this highlights my under achievement and lack of direction.

2. How has it helped me? – Queen of Cups.

It has helped me gain a deeper emotional understanding of myself and others. The full moon also indicates that the spirit of the Fool helps me connect with my dreams. This Queen of Cups also reminds me of the High Priestess in lesser form. Going with the flow keeps my emotions calm. When I start to overthink things or go through possible pitfalls that line my path, my anxiety increases. As this card is at night there is an implication that other people may not be aware of this aspect or that I make efforts to hide this aspect of me. I get the feeling that this Queen is turning away from something.

3. How has it hurt me? – 5 of Pentacles.

Embracing The Fool has meant that I have chosen to isolate myself. Worse I have blinded myself to what I do not wish to see. I prefer living in shadow rather than embrace the power and scrutiny of the sun. I feel I am not understood. My landscape feels barren even when lush green land is available. This manifests itself mainly in two ways. Firstly, my desire NOT to have children and my non mainstream beliefs in paganism and tarot, both of which periodically receive ridicule. Also being a 5 means that I’m prepared to challenge or go against society’s norms laid down by the High Priest [Hierophant]. The animals in the background highlights my secret fear that I will struggle to survive as a person with a disability in the ‘survival of the fittest’ or ‘deserving poor’ ethos.

4. Where in my life do I need to be more Foolish? – XXI The World.

I need to go with flow and let things come to me without forcing the issue. Also, I should stop expecting things to go wrong and just enjoy the moment. I will get my moment in the sun and feel on top of the world but it’s not my time yet. I should stop worrying about the when and focus on the how. I should utilise the Fool’s forward movement and stop looking back.

5. Where will the Fool not serve me? – XV Cernunnos [Devil].

The Fool does not serve me when I give into my desires and ignore my responsibilities. I will always pay for it later, and probably in ways I least expect it as when I embrace the Fool, I am rarely in possession of all the facts. My shadow is unfulfilled potential, dreams, and ambitions. In short, wasting away my life. The Shadow figure also represents Resistance. Resistance is the force that tries to stop me completing worthwhile endeavours. It’s easy to treat Resistance as an outside influence but in reality Resistances comes from within inside me. It’s something that I always struggle with, but I’m definitely struggling to find my flow when writing fiction.

6. Where do I find the Fool outside myself? – XIII Death.

The scythe from the Hanged Man also appears here suggesting that this outside influence could assist me in reaping the rewards of my hard work. I can see snake/serpent imagery. Snakes to me represent transformation especially in this card. This outside influence should help me shed my old life and emerge as a new entity. The wind and bird suggest that this influence could help me soar to a higher level. I think the key to what this outside force is the woman. Whenever I see this card I think of crone. I think the meaning here is literal and the outside influences are older females. The main one is my mother but also older females of TFL, who I hope forgive me for referring to them as crones!

7. What gifts does it bring me? – 4 of Wands.

It gives me a secure creative space outside of physical limitations. Energy of the Fool is this spark that lights my creative fire and then the oxygen that feeds it. It also gives me a solid foundation to work from. However, I must remember to move outside to greener pastures once in a while to renew and ground myself. The path reminds me that I should also bring myself back to the conscious world and focus on my responsibilities there.

Overall Picture

Looking at the overall picture ala Tarot Triplets I can see that the Hanged Man is trying to get a better look at the Queen of Cups but she is refusing to acknowledge his presence probably in disdain at his overt nakedness. This Queen is a firm believer in decorum. Also she has little sympathy for him as she believes the Hanged Man got himself into this mess. The Queen and the female figure have their backs to each other, almost as if they’re in the middle of fallout from an argument. Turning away from each other allows them not to acknowledge their flipsides of the same coin. Reminds me of a mother and daughter who clash on a regular basis. So very similar, yet so very different. The figure in 5 of Pentacles is facing right so could see The World if she wasn’t covering her eyes. This action makes me believe she is scared to see what she could be as that would make the pain of failure so much harder. It’s easier to convince herself that she doesn’t have the talent or that things were stacked against her, rather than the simple fact she did not ask for help when she needed it or apply herself. The figure in the World is looking straight ahead focusing on the here and now. Her legs are in a very similar position to the Hanged Man suggesting that this could be me if I had the courage to set myself free. The figures in Cernunnos are locked in their own world with shadow looking straight ahead mirroring lady in the World. The irony is that this card offers me the most fertile landscape if I utilised it in the right way but right now I should put my desires on hold. Right now this is my desire to own the Oracle of Visions and the Tarot of Dreams by Ciro Marchetti. I just hope they don’t sell out before I get the chance to purchase them. The Crone in the Death card seems to be keeping an eye on the Shadow figure. Perhaps she knows how I can channel my primal energy in a constructive way. Is the skull a gift or key for the young couple and for me. The skull is significant but I’m not sure what it means. As the crone is not interested in the scene depicted in 4 of Wands I believe that it is no danger or doesn’t warrant attention so my creative fire isn’t going to go out. The problem is how I am utilising the energy. My tarot readings are flowing but my fiction writing is not.

Further Questions/Study

How should I let go of my past?

Which direction should I head in?

How can I stop myself over-thinking about things?

Why do I hide the Queen of Cups aspect of myself from view?

What am I turning away from?

Why do I prefer living in shadow?

How do I get to be on top of the world?

How should I channel my shadow aspect into something positive?

How should I begin the process of shedding the parts of old me that are no longer useful?

How should I make the most of my gifts?

How should I apply myself so I can achieve my dreams?

How is the best way for me to channel my primal energy in an constructive way?

What does the skull the crone is holding signify?

Other Comments

This spread has provided me with a deep mine of further avenues to explore!

Date: 6th January 2010
Deck: Legacy of the Divine Tarot
Querent: Stacey (me)
Question: What is blocking me from starting the first draft of my TBelle Novel?

1. Environment – 5 of Coins (Pentacles)
2. What crosses me? – 6 of Coins (Pentacles)

Cards are positioned so that the second card lies horizontal card like the first, like you would find in a Celtic Cross spread.

I am not too sure how these two cards relate to my writing. The 5 of Coins could indicates that my muses need more nurturing or inspiration. I feel that the figure has turned away from the light. What have I turned away from? This card could also relate to my financial situation. My laptop is failing, and I’ve had to resort to buying an external monitor for it so I can use my laptop until it dies completely. It is only 13 months old, and the major instrument with which I can communicate and interact with the outside world. This is further compounded by being out of work for over a year, nearly two.

What crosses me? The 6 of Coins illustrates that financial security is currently eluding me. Perhaps this can also be said of my creative muses and story ideas.

I think I should do a reading about what action I should take to resolve these issues. Possible action gleaned from this reading:
1. Look at what I do have and be grateful for that.
2. Reach out to others.
3. Think about whether I need a clearer, balanced perspective on my situation?

For point three I would consider getting an astrology reading from a source that I trust, but in the circumstances it would be a frivolous expense. I am saving any spare income to go towards a new desktop pc.

Overall card for this reading is 11 – Justice. I do wish things would go in my favour. The last two years have been difficult work wise.